I am not a multi-tasker. Due to the realistic requirements of my life, however, I multi-task constantly but it stresses me out to do so. I do everything that I’m multi-tasking at in a manner that leaves me unsatisfied, because it forces me to push a task off as “completed” without having ever given it my full attention and satisfactory approval. Consequently, everything in my life feels unfinished to me; I detest this.
Granted, the manner in which I like to complete something is probably unrealistic; I like to master something, learn all about it, discover it’s background, review others who have done something similar, evaluate strengths and weaknesses of their effort, digest this, take a couple stabs at an effort of my own, and then, finally, to do the actual final project.
How much of what I do is because God is forcing me to learn skills outside those He naturally gifted me with, and how much is a result of me not doing whatever it would take to put myself in a place to use the unique gifts and style He created in me? How much of our circumstances is God’s will and how much is our will? Is there some sort of balance between, “God helps those who help themselves,” and never doing anything that a voice from heaven hasn’t commanded?
God (through Samuel) showed up on David’s “doorstep” and called him from the pastures, but Nehemiah became troubled in spirit and beseeched God,
O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.
I wonder if Nehemiah was content as cup-bearer to the king?