The Lord woke me up an hour and 19 minutes before my alarm. I do believe that it was the Holy Spirit Who woke me up, or an angel, but it was hard to believe while in bed. I realized while stumbling up the steps toward my office that part of the reason is I find it difficult to believe God wants to spend time with me. I know that to be true theoretically; I’m not sure I believe it in my heart.
The verse for today is Hebrews 3:12-13:
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.
Oh the irony.
Lord, forgive me.
…
Actually, I do believe it; that’s why I’m here right now, doing this. I struggle to act on it because I cannot prove it intellectually.
Lord, help me. Help me to learn the grammar of Spirit to spirit communication. Help me to know You heart to heart.
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24
Long-ing For Life 
Thanks Nate. You might have written a Freudian slip. You say that you know theoretically God doesn’t want to spend any time with you, but believe different in your heart. I’m not sure that is what you mean?
Perhaps I just can’t “see” this differently than I meant, but I’m not reading it that way… Which sentence?